Food Freedom - Brave Conversations With Barbie

"It's just happy married weight", "You're just getting older." after gaining 22 pounds in a couple of years, I wanted to know why. After 2 doctors told me there was nothing wrong with me, a client of mine changed my life telling me about Hashimotos, an auto-immune hypothyroid disease. This weeks conversation is about my personal journey to freedom. I learned how to eliminate my brain fog, depression, and finally lose the weight. I am not an expert and I am not selling a product, I just pray that I might be able to inspire someone else with my journey.

I hope that you will watch this video, share it with your friends, and subscribe to this channel. Most importantly I hope that you will join the conversation! I met so many women that have struggled with similar symptoms, you are not alone. Ask questions and share you're story.

Please leave a comment below and share your hopes, dreams, and brave decisions you will be making.

We still have space left for my live event on Sept 30th! Click HERE to join us at The Well.

If you would like more information on Freedom Coaching I would love to do a free call with you! Click below for more information. 

Are You Thirsty?

*Big Announcement!* Are you thirsty? The dictionary defines thirsty as a longing or a desire for something more. We often find ourselves looking for something to fill this desire, that is what the Samaritan women at the well had done. When Jesus encountered the women at the well, He offered her living water, the only thing that truly satisfies.

I want to invite you to come to the well, The Old Community Well. We will have a time of letting go of things that hold you back and replace it with truth. We will then get practical about discovering who you are, what you value, and create vision for the future.

Sandra experienced this event in my one day intensive. 

“I stumbled on Barbie and her husband’s testimony on You Tube. The testimony was so compelling hat I flew from Chicago to Dallas for a one day Intensive with Barbie. This was the first time I had ever met Barbie! I experienced the tangible love and healing power of God during the Freedom session and came away with a clear mission and purpose statement for the next phase of my life journey. I must say, I was a different person when I left Dallas - set free with a renewed lease to life and purpose.
Without hesitation, I highly recommend Barbie’s coaching package. She has a way of rekindling passion and purpose within you. It’s liberating and the results are real and tangible!” Sandra

I am excited to offer this experience in a small group setting on September 30th! For more information or the register click here

Q&A Tuesday - Brave Conversations with Barbie

"How did you do it? You were living your life one way and now you’re living it another, how did you do it, and what did you do instead?" This was the question Janine wanted to know. 

Over the last couple of weeks my husband and I shared our stories of going from doing life our way to doing things Gods way. During this time, I found myself looking for an example to follow, and it was difficult to find one. I felt like God said, “sometimes you have to be the example.” Fortunately, he gave us the best instruction manual. We can always go back to “what does Gods word say”. It was not always easy, but it was so worth it! 

Join me this week for a conversation about making daily decisions that lead to freedom and an abundant life in Christ.

I hope that you will watch this video, share it with your friends, and subscribe to this channel. Most importantly I hope that you will join the conversation!

Please leave a comment below and share your hopes, dreams, and brave decisions you will be making.

If you would like more information on Freedom Coaching I would love to do a free call with you! Click below for more information.

That's What She Said - Brave Conversations With Barbie

"He's just not that into you," this is what some of my girlfriends would tell me about Richard. "You are just friends, you are wasting your time." Richard would say, "isn't this what women want, to be respected?" God had so much to teach us both through our 4 year journey to the alter. Last week you heard His side, this week it's my turn.

I hope that you will watch this video, share it with your friends, and subscribe to this channel. Most importantly I hope that you will join the conversation!

Please leave a comment below and share your hopes, dreams, and brave decisions you will be making.

If you would like more information on Freedom Coaching I would love to do a free call with you! Click below for more information.

Sexual Freedom

Sexual freedom might sound scandalous, but we are talking about the kind of freedom God intended for you to have. This week my husband, Richard Armenta, shares how sometimes Gods multiplication is through subtraction. God will ask you to let go of things that you might think are good, in order for Him to be able to give you His best. 

In 2003 Richard found himself in a faith based treatment center in Gonzales, Texas. It was at Eternal Awakenings that Richard had an encounter with God that caused him to give up doing life his way and totally surrender to doing life Gods way. This included no longer having sex outside of marriage.

Join us this week as Richard takes us on a journey to true freedom in Christ.

I hope that you will watch this video, share it with your friends, and subscribe to this channel. Most importantly I hope that you will join the conversation!

Please leave a comment below and share your hopes, dreams, and brave decisions you will be making.

If you would like more information on Freedom Coaching I would love to do a free call with you! Click below for more information.

Let it go - Brave conversations with Barbie

Do you ever feel stuck in your own fear, doubt, insecurities, guilt, or shame? We are set free in Christ, but it is what we do with our liberty that can lead us back to captivity.

We often feel like freedom is somewhere outside the boundaries. It is doing what we want when we want to. God has given us guidelines and guardrails for our protection, not for our punishment. Much like telling your kids not to run in the street, He is a good Father that has His best for us.

Your right, there is a sacrifice, freedom is not free. It will cost you letting go of things that hold you back. In this week’s episode, we will be talking about letting go and experiencing the freedom God has for you.

 I hope that you will watch this video, share it with your friends, and subscribe to this channel. Most importantly I hope that you will join the conversation!

Please leave a comment below and share your hopes, dreams, and brave decisions you will be making.

If you would like more information on Freedom Coaching I would love to do a free call with you. Click below to leave your information.

Brave conversations with Barbie - Premier

Have you ever felt like you just don’t even know who you are anymore? Are you drifting through life or are you living with purpose and intention? What would it look like to bravely live your most authentic and purposeful life? Let’s talk about being B.R.A.V.E.

I am excited to share the premier episode of Brave conversations with Barbie. In this first episode, I break down what it means to be brave.

 B- Beautiful: You are beautiful, from the inside out. You are Fearfully and wonderfully made.

R- Restored: No matter where you are or what you have been through, it is never too late to restore what was lost.

A - Authentic: God made you uniquely on purpose for a purpose. We need to walk in the with confidence.

V-Vulnerable: We are made with a desire to be seen, to be known, and to be loved. You will have to risk vulnerability to experience all that God has for you.

E- Excited: Let’s get excited about who you are and who God made you to be.

 I hope that you will watch this video, share it with your friends, and subscribe to this channel. Most importantly I hope that you will join the conversation!

Please leave a comment below and share your hopes, dreams, and brave decisions you will be making.

If you would like more information on Freedom Coaching I would love to do a free call with you. Click below to leave your information.

Dating With Purpose (Video)

"A few weeks ago I went to an event and I met the beautiful Barbie Armenta (Yes, Barbie is her real name). As we were talking she shared with me how after being married twice, she decided to “wait until marriage”. I was so FASCINATED by her and her husband Richard’s story that I immediately asked them to be on an episode of “Dating With Purpose”. Barbie & Richard have an amazing story and they are a prime example of how even a broken tree can bear fruit."

Ashley Brown

Richard and I were so blessed to meet Ashely and to be a part of Dating with Purpose. I love that she is showing singles of all age that it is not to late to walk out your singleness in obedience and take hold of all that God has for you!

Barbie is a Freedom life coach and Beauty expert; we are talking beauty from the inside out. if you would like to learn more and see if coaching might be a fit for you, click here to do a FREE call.

He's My 3rd Husband

What comes to your mind when you hear someone has been married more than once? I will admit it, when I hear someone is on their third husband, I judge a little in my head. Then I remember, oh yeah, that's me.

I met my first husband the summer after I graduated from high school. He was a little older, funny, and he had a house and a dog. He just needed a wife and kids. I had just begun my career in the beauty industry and I was ready to adult. We got married a year later and had my first son a year after that. Over the next couple of years, he met someone else and I moved out. It was not all his fault, I had no idea how to be a wife and mother. By the age of 24 I was divorced with a child. Having not grown up in church, I was not seeking God in my decisions. It was however, during my first divorce that someone gave me a bible. It would be years later before I learned how to read it.

Within a year of my divorce, I jumped into a relationship with a man that lived two hours away. He was cute, fun, and kept me from being lonely when my son was with his dad. We dated long distance for a year and then got married. You cannot know someone very well when you only see them twice a month. When you are having sex outside of marriage, you feel like the relationship is more than it is. 12 years and 2 more boys later, I had lost hope in my marriage. My husband had quickly showed me another side of himself after we were married. I did not think I would ever be divorced once much less twice, so I tried hard to make it work. One day I realized I was not protecting my boys. During my marriage, I had found Christ and He had opened my eyes to my marriage and showed me what real hope looks like. Our hope is not found in man, but in Jesus.

Jesus speaking to the women at the well:

 Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14 but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

15 The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.” 16 He told her, “Go, call your husband and come back.” 17 “I have no husband,” she replied.

Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband. 18 The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.”

I was much like the Samaritan women at the well, repeating the same pattern trying to fill a “thirst” that only God can fill. After my second divorce, I now had a relationship with Christ and was clinging to Him for everything, except dating, I was doing that part my way. My way was now a path that lead to guilt, shame, and emptiness. I could no longer deny that I knew the truth of God’s word. Much like the Samaritan women, God met me right where I was. He saw me, He knew me, and He loved me anyway.

I am forever Grateful that God brought a man in my life that leads me well, beginning with dating God's way. Richard points me back to Christ. We cannot put God expectations on a man, they will fail you every time. Only Jesus can fill the longings of your heart.

No matter where you are or where you have been, God wants to redeem and restore your life.

God designed marriage to succeed 100% of the time, when we do it His way. Put your hope in the one who loves you the most.

Barbie is a Christian Life coach. For more information or to schedule a FREE call click the link below.

I am not a risk taker

God is a God of second chances, and thankfully 3rd and 4th! I am so grateful for a merciful God that loves us. When we are starting over and decide to courageously step out, there is always be opposition. We have outside opposition and inside old tendencies. Often it is our old tendencies that create the biggest obstacles. The way we make decisions, our beliefs, and our patterns have gotten us to where we are today, for better or worse. If we want something different or we want to go to a new level in our life, it will require us to do something different and to be someone different.

When I look back on my life I have always tended to “play it safe” and not “take risk.” What it really meant is that I made my decisions out of fear. Fear of getting hurt, fear of rejection, fear of being disappointed. What that got me was a guarantee to not get what I longed for because I didn’t even try.

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There is a picture that has been floating around the internet of old ladies on a roller coaster. The women on the front row have their hands up laughing having a fabulous time. The ladies on the 3rd row are sitting proper with their hands in their laps not smiling. The caption always reads something like “which one do you want to be, the first or 3rd row?” From the safety of our computer chair we say a resounding “1st Row!” This time when I saw the picture I laughed to myself, who am I kidding? I am not either one. I have always been the girl standing at the exits holding all the purses! I didn’t even get on the ride.

What are the blessings you are missing out on by letting fear drive your decision?

We are all created with a desire to be seen, to be known, and to be loved. That takes risk. It takes being fearless.

The first step is letting yourself see who you really are. To recognize that God made you perfectly the way you are. That we must stop comparison and be authentic. You being confident in who God made you to be might make some people uncomfortable, that’s okay, it will also inspire others to do the same.

Scripture tells us that we are “wonderfully made.” I want to encourage you to be vulnerable and embrace who God made you to be. Let go of old tendencies and watch how God will bless you when you put your BRAVE on!

Barbie is a freedom-life coach and her passion is seeing women bravely live their most purposeful and authentic life. If you have any questions or would like to do a FREE call click below.

Bye Bye Guilt, Bye Bye Shame

Last week I attended Freedom Training. It was an amazing experience in discovering those things in life that hold you back. Today I just wanted to jump on video and share a little of my aha moments.

I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments after you watch the video. Click the link below if you would like to get more information or to schedule a time to do a FREE call to see if coaching might be a fit for you!

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Love without Limits

This week, in the face of bad news, I experienced something amazing. A few days ago, we received news my beautiful niece Taylor, just weeks from high school graduation, found out she has a rare form of cancer. This is never news that you want to hear, but somehow it is always a little more difficult when it is someone so young.

The day we found out, I decided to post on Facebook, a call to all of my “prayer warrior” friends, to join us in a prayer of healing. What happened next was the amazing part, everyone prayed! I love that I have a very diverse group of Facebook friends. Some are friends from elementary school, many are from my long career in the beauty industry, others I just met recently, and a few I have never met in person. They were all praying. The number of likes, comments, text, and phone calls were an overwhelming display of love.

Love knows no limits! Democrats, Republicans, men, women, every race, gay and straight. We can all agree on a couple of things, cancer sucks and we are stronger together in prayer. God is still in the business of working miracles. He will also show us beauty in the midst of our trials.

I know that if you are reading this you have likely been touched by cancer. You might even be battling it yourself. Let’s broaden this prayer circle and fight together. In my family alone besides, my sister’s daughter Taylor, her fiancé Vic and his adult son Tyler are also fighting cancer. My Dad, Larry just found out his bladder cancer has returned.

Who are you praying for? Let’s speak their names. In the comments below write their names and we can lift them up. We are all stronger together. There is power in unity. As Taylor said on her Facebook, let’s “kick cancers ass!”

We never know when one phone call or one doctors report will change our lives. Don’t wait! Love big, live without regrets, follow your dreams, have faith, and trust in God. Just like that one call can change your life for the worse, I know one call to Jesus can give you the strength to walk through it and change your life for eternity.

“The thief comes only to steal kill and destroy, I have come that you may have life, and have it abundantly.” John 10:10

Barbie is a Professional Relationship/Life Coach, if you have any questions or would like to do a FREE call, please click below.

The "Sex Interview"

“You can learn a lot about people by getting between the sheets. Are they kind? Do they listen? Do they have a sense of humor?”

What? Is this what we're doing?

Yesterday I received an unsolicited copy of Glamour Magazine in the mail, so I decided to flip through and get some fashion tips for spring. I got so much more than fashion tips! Glamour decided I needed an update on how singles are using this “sex interview.”

So apparently, according to the 5500 singles that were polled, 48% are “swiping right” on tinder and having sex BEFORE the first date. This is seen as an “interview” to qualify them for actual dating. I am pretty sure many guys I have known over the years would say this is a dream scenario. Forget cheap date; this is FREE sex. They don’t have to have any social skills or even buy you a drink! As long as the profile pic is cute enough for you to swipe right, they’re in! Literally!

What this article did not do was follow up with how everyone felt afterward. Correct me if I am missing something, but this is how I picture it: You are feeling lonely, so you start scrolling Tinder on a Sunday night. (Sunday night is the peak night for the app.) You see a cute guy, he swipes right on you as well, he invites you over for an “interview,” and you head home a few hours later. This used to be known as “the walk of shame.” What did we learn here? The article states you will learn if he was kind, a good listener, and if he has a sense of humor, but I don’t see that. Reading all of it made me incredibly sad!

If this is you, I’d like to clarify you aren’t getting any judgment from me at all! I come to you as someone who made the mistake of thinking that the only way to fill what was missing in my life and the loneliness I was feeling was to find a man to meet those needs. If you’re really honest with yourself, do you even enjoy it, or are you left feeling shame, guilt and even more alone?

If you have read my blog before, you probably know that when I met Richard he had decided that after doing life his way, that he was surrendering everything to God and doing things God’s way. He was no longer having sex outside of marriage. This seemed so sweet at first. He would tell me, “isn’t this what girls want, to be respected?” It was my girlfriends who were saying to me, “he is just not into you” or “you are wasting your time.”

It seems we have come to a place where we want to skip the hard stuff. Instead of having a relationship that leads to marriage and sex, we want to have sex and hope it leads to a relationship. Eventually you must do the work or it won’t last. God gave us guidelines for a reason; they work.

Loneliness is something missing on the inside. It can be codependency looking for something to be dependent on. I had a counselor tell me that when someone texts me “Good morning Beautiful,” that it was actually “codependent crack.” It gave me a little boost in the moment that lead to more anxiety and greater loneliness.

Anything worth having is worth waiting for. A man who chooses to practice self-control in dating is more likely to be faithful in his marriage. He will get to know the real you, inside and out (a little scary, I know.) It will take vulnerability. To be that brave you must believe that you are worthy of love and belonging. God believes you are!

He said you are “Wonderfully made,“ in Psalm 139.

He says He has a “Plan and purpose for your life,” in Jeremiah 29:11.

So have faith that God made you perfectly, just the way you are. You are seen, you are known and you are truly loved by the God of the universe. I promise that when you stay focused on Jesus, and wait on His plan, He will do exceedingly abundantly more than you could ever ask or imagine, (Ephesians 3:20) without having to “swipe right.”

You are worth it.

 If this post touched a nerve or sparked a need to chat with a non-judgmental, listening coach who cares, message me for a one-on-one session.

You have Arrived

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Today I was driving to Dallas to a place I had never been to before. I use the waze ap for directions, which always gets you there the fastest way, but you end up on the most round about drive. Richard and I have a motto that we say that we must “trust the waze.” We often have no choice; it takes us on a route where we have no idea where we are. Once I got to Dallas this morning, my waze announced, “you have arrived.”

Over the last year my life has felt a little the same way; like I am driving to an unknown destination down streets I have never been on before. Much like the waze, God knows exactly where He is taking me. We are just praying that all the twist and turns mean that we are getting closer to the “Promised Land”.

Richard and I started The Right Combination almost 2 years ago, since then we have been praying, writing, taking classes, networking, meeting new people, branding, creating a website, and speaking any chance we get. This process can seem like we are lost, circling the desert like the Israelites. Much like the Israelites we feel like we are following Gods lead, that He is providing the "manna", and like them, we also find ourselves grumbling. “How much longer?” “Are we there yet?” “When will we arrive?”

This weekend we took a road trip to Gonzales, Texas to speak at Living Waters Church. We have both spoken alone and we have been interviewed together; but this is the first-time Richard and I got to deliver a message together. We were so excited and expectant for what God was going to do. We were not prepared for all the ways that God showed up.

On Sunday morning, we were driving to the church listening to Casting Crowns, Voice of truth.  Richard and I have both talked in the past, about how when each of us was at a dark time in our lives, we would play that song in the car and sing really loud. We were not only listening to the same song and doing the same thing, but it was at the same time. This was years before we met.

On this day, we were listening together on our way to our first joint speaking engagement, a day we have been dreaming of and praying for. The question came to my mind, "how do you know when you have made it to the promised land? What does it look like?" Suddenly it hit me, I think it looks like driving down the highway, with the love of my life, on our way to do what we love, listening to the song that got us both through the hard stuff. I didn’t hear it audibly, but it felt like God said “you have arrived.”

Where is your “promised land?” How will you know when you get there? When you are on a new path going somewhere you have never been, trust the one that loves you most and has a good path laid out before you. What does it take to enter the promised land? Faith. Sometimes we are waiting on God to provide a breakthrough, and He is waiting for us to just step in faith. Be in the moment, enjoy the journey, and listen for His voice letting you know, You have arrived.

Barbie is a Professional Relationship/Life Coach, if you have any questions or would like to do a FREE call, please click below.

 

 

Spring is Coming!

It is hard to believe it is March already! Here in Texas I am not sure that Winter ever got the memo that it was its turn, however, spring break is already here. Sometimes the seasons can come by so quickly.

How is it that the “seasons” of our lives can seem to take so long? Especially the “winter” seasons. You know, the times we are waiting for a job, a healing, a man, or a financial breakthrough. It can seem like the wait is long and that God is silent.

Just like winter, when the grass is brown and the flowers don’t bloom, they are not dead, God is working below the surface. Spring is still coming. As I have been growing my ministry and coaching practice, it can appear I am doing a lot of planting, but where is the fruit? I am sure other entrepreneurs can relate. It reminds me a little of when I was dating my now husband, Richard. We dated for 4 years! No one signs up for the 4-year plan of dating Gods way (no sex outside of marriage). I would get frustrated and wonder “How long does it take?” It is one day at a time and all in Gods perfect timing. Today I am so grateful for the process. As Richard says, “anything worth having is worth waiting for.”

I was sharing with my friend Sara one day about how things were going with our ministry and how I thought things would have gone a little faster. She challenged me to go home and get a poster board. She had me draw a line across the middle of the page with a small sprout on top and roots underneath. On each of the roots I was to right the name of every connection, contact, and opportunity that God has given me since I started. It was amazing! God is not silent. As Sara said, “God is building a root system so deep and so wide, that it could support one of those trees that you can drive through.” She was so right! I have since had to draw more roots and add more names to my drawing. I also have added more sprouts to the surface. Spring is coming!

It can be so difficult in your winter seasons. You become like the seed planted in the ground, the seed goes through a lot of change before it can grow and rise to the surface, and so will you. It is all about who we become as God prepares you for what He has prepared for you.

Farmers are the most patient people. They know that there are no shortcuts. We must prepare, plant, and wait for the harvest. The bigger the harvest (your dream), the greater the process. Don’t give up! Don’t dig up what looks dead in the winter. Stay focused on God and allow Him to work in and through you. Spring is coming! It will be more beautiful than you ever imagined!

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Gal 6:9

Barbie is a Professional Relationship/Life Coach. If you have an questions or would like to do a Free Call please click below.

 

 

Keep your eyes on Me

This morning I was watching Tim McGraw on a cooking show and he was talking about his new song, Keep your Eyes on me. He is talking about when we go through the hard times in our life, how we are to focus on Jesus.

This was so timely for me to hear! Besides the fact that I need a daily reminder to stay focused, last Friday I just reconnected with the women that taught me that lesson. I first met my friend Sue about 14 years ago, she and I had never met and she invited me to her house for a “prayer breakfast”. I had 3 kids at home at the time, so any time out with adults was a good idea. That morning a woman was speaking on Peter Walking on water.

 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

 “Come,” he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” Mathew 14 28-30

I had never read the Bible before that day and I have read it most days’ sense. There was something about the way I heard it that day that made me realize that the Bible is alive and relevant in my life. What I heard her say was, as long as I kept my eyes on Jesus, I could do anything.

Thanks to the willingness of one women to invite someone she had never met to come to her home; my life and my family’s lives were forever changed. The seemingly simple practice of keeping my eyes on Jesus and not the “storms” around me has carried me through my divorce, Richards cancer, job layoffs, and countless other daily struggles.

When we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior we have everything we need inside us, we just have to keep our eyes on Him. He is willing, He is able, and He is loving. Thankfully, just like He did with Peter, Jesus rescues. When we lose our focus, he can reach down and rescue you too.

I am so grateful for Sue and her invitation. My prayer is that I will do the same, that I will be obedient and available.  

If you have any questions about a relationship with Jesus or how to read the Bible, I would love to talk to you about that! You can click contact below.

Barbie is a Christian Life coach. For more information or to schedule a FREE call click the link below.

He's My 3rd Husband

What comes to your mind when you hear someone has been married more than once? I will admit it, when I hear someone is on their third husband, I judge a little in my head. Then I remember, oh yeah, that's me.

I met my first husband the summer after I graduated from high school. He was a little older, funny, and he had a house and a dog. He just needed a wife and kids. I had just begun my career in the beauty industry and I was ready to adult. We got married a year later and had my first son a year after that. Over the next couple of years, he met someone else and I moved out. It was not all his fault, I had no idea how to be a wife and mother. By the age of 24 I was divorced with a child. Having not grown up in church, I was not seeking God in my decisions. It was however, during my first divorce that someone gave me a bible. It would be years later before I learned how to read it.

Within a year of my divorce, I jumped into a relationship with a man that lived two hours away. He was cute, fun, and kept me from being lonely when my son was with his dad. We dated long distance for a year and then got married. You cannot know someone very well when you only see them twice a month. When you are having sex outside of marriage, you feel like the relationship is more than it is. 12 years and 2 more boys later, I had lost hope in my marriage. My husband had quickly showed me another side of himself after we were married. I did not think I would ever be divorced once much less twice, so I tried hard to make it work. One day I realized I was not protecting my boys. During my marriage, I had found Christ and He had opened my eyes to my marriage and showed me what real hope looks like. Our hope is not found in man, but in Jesus.

Jesus speaking to the women at the well:

 Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14 but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”

15 The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.” 16 He told her, “Go, call your husband and come back.” 17 “I have no husband,” she replied.

Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband. 18 The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.”

I was much like the Samaritan women at the well, repeating the same pattern trying to fill a “thirst” that only God can fill. After my second divorce, I now had a relationship with Christ and was clinging to Him for everything, except dating, I was doing that part my way. My way was now a path that lead to guilt, shame, and emptiness. I could no longer deny that I knew the truth of God’s word. Much like the Samaritan women, God met me right where I was. He saw me, He knew me, and He loved me anyway.

I am forever Grateful that God brought a man in my life that leads me well, beginning with dating God's way. Richard points me back to Christ. We cannot put God expectations on a man, they will fail you every time. Only Jesus can fill the longings of your heart.

No matter where you are or where you have been, God wants to redeem and restore your life.

God designed marriage to succeed 100% of the time, when we do it His way. Put your hope in the one who loves you the most.

Barbie is a Christian Life coach. For more information or to schedule a FREE call click the link below.

Let's do Coffee Soon!

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Let’s do coffee soon!

What is it about coffee and conversation? Latte, Cortado, French Press, and pour-overs, we can’t seem to get enough! There is something inviting about a warm mug (no paper cups please) and great company that makes my day.

At least once a week I find myself at a local coffee house meeting up with someone. You might find me with my husband, one of my boys, and last week my beautiful step daughter; but most of the time, I am with amazing women.

I try to be intentional about keeping up with my girlfriends, new and old. It is always a blessing to hear what is going on in the lives of the women God has placed in my path. Often it is someone I just met or someone I haven’t seen in a while and God has placed them on my heart. One thing is for sure, it will be time well spent and God always shows up in unexpected ways!

“Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works, and let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another.” Hebrews 10: 24-25 nlt

Scripture tells us that we should meet together to motivate and encourage each other. I personally don’t think it is a coincidence that its located in HeBrews. :)

I feel like this is what God has purposed me to do, motivate and encourage women to be all that God made them to be. How nice it is when it's over a Lavender Latte at ReDefined!

I have been recently playing with an idea for some videos and I would love to hear your thoughts! I was having coffee with a friend a couple of months ago, she said when she saw “Coffee with Barbie” on her calendar that it sounded like a show. I had to agree! I have been thinking about ideas and topics ever since.  What do you think? What topics would interest you? I would love to hear your comments below. Include your favorite coffee drink in your comment.

Cheers!

 

Waiting is not Passive

“Until the time came to fulfill his dreams, The Lord tested Josephs character.” Psalm 105:19 NLT

Wow! When I read these words this morning they really hit home. This time of year, many of us are setting goals, making vision boards, and dreaming of what this new year will bring. We are full of hope and expectancy. Maybe you have even posted Jeramiah 29:11 on your bathroom mirror. These are all amazing things! I am doing them myself! This is the “fun” part.

 But then…we wait.

I started back to the gym this week after a 5-month hiatus. I was actually looking forward to getting up at 5am and working out. It felt great! Day 2 still felt good. Today was day 3 and I am getting sore! It was a lot harder and not as fun.  This is what happens with our dreams and goals; after a time, it gets hard. We courageously step out and get started, but staying committed is another story.

While we are waiting for God to bring our dream to pass, we are being tested. Do we even have what it takes to fulfill our vision? The answer is yes! If God has called you to something, He will equip you with what you need to accomplish it, but it may take some time. It is about the journey. God cares less about the destination and more about Who we become along the way.

Waiting is not passive. If your read Jeramiah 29 1-13 you will see that the Israelites were in a season of waiting. God said that He had a plan for them, but they were not supposed to just sit and wait, God told them to “prosper where they are.” They were also told to “Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce.  Marry and have sons and daughters” This was not a time to be passive, this was a time of preparation.

God wants the same for us. When we are praying for our dreams and goals God is preparing us and “testing our character”. Don’t give up! When you don’t feel like you are seeing the results you want, keep going, your harvest is coming!

My husband and I have been living this out over the last couple of years. We have been writing a book and starting a ministry. Our book proposal has been sitting with ten publishers for 7 months! During this 2 years, we have experienced 2 job layoffs and several publishers have rejected our project. There have been plenty of days I wanted to quit. It has been a sacrifice to keep going, but God is building my character. My vision is clear and I believe His promises are true. It will happen!

The same is true for you! Don’t quit and don’t settle. You might be waiting for the spouse God has for you, a fabulous career, or waiting for a break in your online business. Keep going! Let God mold you into who He created you to be. Discover how to be your most authentic and purposeful self. Allow God to “test your character” and stay committed in faith. Do what you can do and watch God do what only He can do. 

What I learned from the Whole 30

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You will not change a wrong pattern until you hate the result it brings. Let me explain. Over a year ago, a dear friend gave me the book, It Starts with Food. I flipped through the pages and quickly discovered this book is “The Whole 30”. You might have heard of it, it is the elimination diet where you give up virtually everything but meat and vegetables. As I read the list of can’t haves, most were not surprising. No bread, no sugar, and no dairy. As I continued reading it said no peanuts and no beans, for some reason this was completely unreasonable to me and I put the book on the shelf. I guess the idea of no peanut butter was a deal breaker.

The reality was, the friend that gave it to me knew that I had been struggling. Over the last couple of years, I had gained 22 pounds! Prior to that I had not gained a single pound in 10 years! I had tried everything. I was eating healthy and working out at least 3 times a week. I really wasn’t optimistic that anything would help.

I had heard all the usual things like “Your just getting older” and “its happy married weight.” There are too many happily married women that are older than me that look fabulous, I knew there had to be another answer.

In August of last year, a friend was sharing with me her struggle with Hashimotos, an auto immune disease that causes hypothyroid. I had all the symptoms, even the obscure ones. What was the suggested treatment? An elimination diet, like the Whole 30. Okay, it was time to dust off the book.

A little more than a week in and it was like a fog lifted! I had more energy, I could think more clearly, and I dropped a couple of pounds. I didn’t know how bad I had been feeling until I felt good. As a bonus, I have dropped 15 pounds in a few months. I have sense been to the doctor and discovered that my self-diagnosis was correct. I have added a natural thyroid medication and given up many foods I loved, for good. I am now living a paleo lifestyle.

What I learned is, when your “why” is big enough, the sacrifice and change is not that hard. I have found that with anything in our lives, you will change when you hate the results you get more than you love what you’re doing.

I realized it was the same principles that applied to my dating life. Richard and I dated Gods way, no sex outside of marriage. My desire to be obedient to God and lay a strong foundation for our marriage, was more important than momentary feelings. I believe this is true with any dream we have or goal we set, without a strong why we will return to our old patterns.

God is constantly refining us to be more like Him. Sometimes it is a much about what we are “Un-becoming” as what we become. We must let go of what is good to take hold of Gods best. For me with my diet I was reminded that Self-control is a fruit of the spirit. If you have received Christ you already have it, you just have to access it. Pray and ask God to show you what He wants to refine in you. It is always worth it!