'So I have been dating this guy for six months and we still have not had sex.” This was the dilemma of the girl calling into the radio station looking for advice from the two female DJ'S. “I really like him but I am confused. I have tried everything.” “He says after his last bad break up he just wants to be sure.” The first DJ responded “Girl, I would not have put up with that this long, he must be gay.” “Let's see what the listeners have to say.” That's it, I was sucked in at that moment and I couldn't wait to see what kind of “advice” the callers had for this girl. The calls went something like; “ He has an STD, he must be married, gay, or maybe he has a tiny one!” There was not one person that thought it was a good idea to wait, much less wait until marriage, to have sex. I wish I could say I was surprised, but I was not. I can not speak for the guy she was dating, but I can share from my experience, that dating while waiting is not easy.
When I first met Richard and he told me he was waiting until marriage to have sex, I thought some of these same things. “What? He can't be serious!” This is not the way most of the world is dating, even with my christian friends, the question is not if but when to have sex. It is even worse if you have been divorced or at least had sex before, you think, “Really, It's a little to late for purity.” I know that is how I felt, who was I fooling. My friends would tell me, “he's just not that into you” or “what is he some wimpy christian guy”. My husband is definitely far from wimpy! He is a mans man! What we need to realize is, it does not take a strong man to have sex with you, it takes a strong man to wait. It is a sign of strength to practice self control and take the time to build a relationship with you. If a man can practice self control in this area of his life, you can be sure he is someone that will be a strong leader in your home and have respect for you.This is a man you can trust.
Dating can feel like a no win situation for men. If they sleep with us then all they want is sex and if they don't something is wrong with them or with me. Ladies, we have to help a brother out! If what we want is to have respect, build a friendship, and for them to get to know us, then we have to let them do it and appreciate it. This starts with our own self respect and knowing our self worth. We can not look for someone else to give us that. You are a Daughter of the King! You deserve to be treated like royalty. Before I met Richard I was looking for a man to show me my worth. It would make or break my day if a man told me I was beautiful or asked me out. I learned I can not put God expectations on a person, they will fail us every time. God has already told us our worth. He made each of us perfectly to fulfill the purpose he has for us. Thinking anything less of ourselves is an insult to God.
When you find a man that is willing to wait and bold enough to treat you right, despite what the world says, then do not lose him from your own insecurities. God has His very best for you! Do not settle for anything less.
“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.” Psalm 139:14