What comes to your mind when you hear someone has been married more than once? I will admit it, when I hear someone is on their third husband, I judge a little in my head. Then I remember, oh yeah, that's me.
I met my first husband the summer after I graduated from high school. He was a little older, funny, and he had a house and a dog. He just needed a wife and kids. I had just begun my career in the beauty industry and I was ready to adult. We got married a year later and had my first son a year after that. Over the next couple of years, he met someone else and I moved out. It was not all his fault, I had no idea how to be a wife and mother. By the age of 24 I was divorced with a child. Having not grown up in church, I was not seeking God in my decisions. It was however, during my first divorce that someone gave me a bible. It would be years later before I learned how to read it.
Within a year of my divorce, I jumped into a relationship with a man that lived two hours away. He was cute, fun, and kept me from being lonely when my son was with his dad. We dated long distance for a year and then got married. You cannot know someone very well when you only see them twice a month. When you are having sex outside of marriage, you feel like the relationship is more than it is. 12 years and 2 more boys later, I had lost hope in my marriage. My husband had quickly showed me another side of himself after we were married. I did not think I would ever be divorced once much less twice, so I tried hard to make it work. One day I realized I was not protecting my boys. During my marriage, I had found Christ and He had opened my eyes to my marriage and showed me what real hope looks like. Our hope is not found in man, but in Jesus.
Jesus speaking to the women at the well:
Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, 14 but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
15 The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.” 16 He told her, “Go, call your husband and come back.” 17 “I have no husband,” she replied.
Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband. 18 The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.”
I was much like the Samaritan women at the well, repeating the same pattern trying to fill a “thirst” that only God can fill. After my second divorce, I now had a relationship with Christ and was clinging to Him for everything, except dating, I was doing that part my way. My way was now a path that lead to guilt, shame, and emptiness. I could no longer deny that I knew the truth of God’s word. Much like the Samaritan women, God met me right where I was. He saw me, He knew me, and He loved me anyway.
I am forever Grateful that God brought a man in my life that leads me well, beginning with dating God's way. Richard points me back to Christ. We cannot put God expectations on a man, they will fail you every time. Only Jesus can fill the longings of your heart.
No matter where you are or where you have been, God wants to redeem and restore your life.
God designed marriage to succeed 100% of the time, when we do it His way. Put your hope in the one who loves you the most.
Barbie is a Christian Life coach. For more information or to schedule a FREE call click the link below.