“Why don’t the two of you just go?” Have you ever heard yourself say something and you immediately regret it? That happened to me this week. Dealing with family during the holidays can be a challenge. When you add in a blended family, well that is a whole nutha level. (As my pastor would say.)
I am discovering that I might be a people pleaser. You know, trying to find a way to include everyone and make everyone happy. In reality, you end up upsetting others and making yourself miserable. Anyone else this way?
This week my husband and I were trying to figure out the best way to divide our time on Christmas Day and Christmas Eve. For someone like me that does not want to leave anyone out, this is tough. My husband was talking about compromises, and how he misses his time with his daughter. She is away at college so time is limited. Of course I want to “fix it” and for him to be happy.
God reminded me of the story of Jacob and Esau. God had promised that Jacob would get the blessing of his father and Esau was about to receive it. So… Rebekah interfered. She tried to “fix it.” The cost of her meddling was high. She alienated her family and missed seeing how God would fulfill His promise. When we meddle, we can often get our way, but at what cost?
So I tell my husband, “Why don’t just the two of you go this weekend?” His whole family will be in Odessa, Texas for our nieces’ college graduation. Within fifteen minutes, he had agreed and called his daughter to let her know of their time together.
Wait! “What about me?” I am thinking. “You do not want me to go?” I say. Suddenly I am putting the consequences of my actions back on him. To change things now he would have to call his daughter and disappoint her. Have you ever regretted something you said and put the consequence on someone else?
God is teaching me a lesson in “fixing it.” God is in control and it is not up to me to try to make everyone else happy. To try to figure it all out. The consequence this time is I miss the chance to spend time with my husband’s family. As we continue to work at becoming one big family, I realize every opportunity is precious.
I am happy that Richard will have the time with his daughter! I am also grateful that God continues to mold and grow me as a person and a wife. Sometimes being molded is painful, but so worth it!
By the way, I have some free time this weekend if anyone wants to grab a coffee.