Well…it looks like Tim Tebow is back in the news. This is a man that is no stranger to being criticized and celebrated for being open about his faith, both on and off the field. One of the things he has discussed openly is his decision to not have sex outside of marriage.
For the last few months, Tim Tebow has been dating Olivia Culpo. You may know her as the former Miss Universe. It has been reported that she ended the relationship because of his decision to not have sex. As you might imagine, there are plenty of comments being made ranging from, ‘Is he crazy, she is Miss Universe!” to “Good for him, standing up for what he believes.”
As I was reading, I realized that Olivia Culpo also dated Nick Jonas for two years. Jonas also openly talked about his decision to wait until marriage. It was during their relationship that he said he was “no longer doing that”. How did that work out? They obviously broke up.
I believe that there are many women, myself included, which would say that what we really want is a good man, with great morals, that is following God. I want a man that can be a spiritual leader in my life, treat me with respect, and love me as Christ loved the church. That is, we want that until we get it and it is not as easy as we thought.
When I first met Richard, he told me he was only dating Gods way. That he had tried things his way and this time he was giving it to God. I thought that was great at first. I had finally found a Godly man. After a few months, and realizing he was serious, it became difficult. Dating this way can feel like rejection, as if he is just not interested. We believe if a guy is interested he will have sex. Abstinence is not the way the world does it and you might begin to wonder if it is you. Even for someone as beautiful at Olivia Culpo, you might begin to doubt yourself. She has twice found herself in relationships with men that are doing their best to follow God and she could not follow their lead. Sometimes the problem is our patterns. We have patterns in our life that do not work and we carry them with us not realizing we are the ones that need to change.
Of course we all have in us the desire to be intimate, God made us that way. God however, intended it to be within marriage. Far too often as women, we use sex to find our value and self worth. We repeat these same patterns trying to fill what only God can fill and find ourselves feeling more empty and alone. Our value does not come from man. God created us perfectly. Scripture tells us that we are wonderfully made. Ladies, you are more beautiful than you think you are.
When I finally made a decision to surrender my dating life to God and follow Richards lead, that one act of obedience put me on a journey of rediscovering me, finding my purpose, and learning who I am in Christ. God showed me how to be content in my singleness and have a full life outside of Richard. I did not need a man to “complete” me.
I find that especially after divorce, when our self-esteem can be low, we seek in the wrong places for validation. My prayer is that you will turn to God and surrender everything to Him. He will do things in your life that you never thought possible.
For more information please download my FREE Ebooklet, 5 Steps to rediscovering you after divorce.