The Single Mom Years

Oh the holidays…Once we get to Halloween there is quickly pumpkin everything wherever you go. I feel like I had barely had my first Pumpkin spice latte before the peppermint mocha was here in the red cups.

Where does the time go? Next week we will be celebrating Thanksgiving and all the things that we are grateful for. Like many of you, if you have also been through divorce, I will be celebrating Thanksgiving without my kids.

It has been almost ten years since I got divorced and one of the hardest things for me to adjust to was only having my boys every other holiday. I had never understood why this time of year could be so difficult for so many when I always loved it! Once my grandparents passed away, my house was usually where my whole family would gather. That all changed when I went from my big house to a small duplex. I had all of my traditions that I would fight to keep going. I wanted to give my boys memories I wanted them to have instead of letting them create their own. I realized me trying to have things a certain way actually making it worse. I had unmet expectations and would make it less enjoyable by expressing it. I had to let go and realize that it was not about the date on the calendar, what food we were having, or what gifts would be exchanged. It was about making the most of our time together.

When I look back over those first few years after the divorce, I see the mistakes and bad decisions that I made. I was always trying to do the best I could for my kids. Recently my boys were laughing about the “single mom years.” They were saying that those years were “some of the happiest of their lives.” This of course makes me cry. I can now look back at this time through their eyes and see that they felt loved. The things I worried about the most they do not even remember. They remember things like, that I would make them “Christmas morning bread.” It is all in the little things.

I pray that you are encouraged this holiday season to embrace the time you have together and that God will give you peace and comfort when you are apart. You are doing better than you think you are.

I found that my time alone was the best time to get close to God and figure out who I was now and what do I want with my life. What is my purpose?

I would love to share a FREE EBooklet with you. This is a tool to help by giving you 5 Steps to rediscovering you after divorce.

If you are ready to move forward with your new life and create a vision for 2016, I would love to talk with you! Click here for a complementary call to talk about your next steps.